Last week I spent some time with two of my closest friends and their mother. Recently, their mother, who is 87 years old, fell and broke her hip. During surgery the surgeon dropped her leg and it hit the side of the operating room table, causing an abrasion/laceration on the shin of the affected leg. The hip surgery itself was a success, but she has had a terrible time trying to get the wound on her shin closed.

As a result of this medical error, she has had to delay her rehabilitation and has become fully dependent on a caregiver for her activities of daily living. She has had to move into one of her daughter’s homes, and, in order to care for her, her daughter has taken a leave of absence from work. My friends and their mother are experiencing what millions face day in and day out — the challenges of caregiving and the complications of a medical error.

In talking to Mrs. B, she said that she was very angry with the surgeon for causing this problem. She said that, when he told her what happened, he admitted that he was at fault. We will never know what really happened in that OR, but the ramifications have caused a very dynamic woman to undergo a rigorous trial that has drastically changed her life.

Last week, Mrs. B had an appointment to see the surgeon. The daughter that took her to the appointment said that she was nervous in light of her mother’s feelings toward the surgeon. “When she gets her Irish up, look out,” she said. After the exam, Mrs. B asked the doctor to sit down; she wanted to say something to him. Once he sat down and was eye level with her, she took the doctor’s hand, looked him in the eye and said, “Dr. M, I forgive you.” This was an important moment, not only for Mrs. B, as it was the moment she came to terms with her anger, but also for Dr. M. My friend, who was in the room, said that Dr. M was visibly shaken at the occurrence and that he had to get up and walk away to compose himself.

In talking with Mrs. B and her daughters during my visit, it became apparent that as a result of Mrs. B’s release of her anger and her forgiveness of Dr. M, she had allowed her typical positive attitude to kick in, and as she has really begun to make some progress. She is now seeing a wound care specialist who has begun to aggressively treat the wound, and they are seeing a good response. She has a long way to go, but she is on the mend.

The moral of this story is that holding anger inside is self-destructive. I hope this message reminds all that if you feel anger toward someone, maybe now is the time for you to say, “I forgive you.”

Have a good week,

Anne Llewellyn, RN-BC, MS, BHSA, CCM, CRRN
Editor-in-Chief of Across My Desk, Case in Point magazine, and the Case Management Resource Guide
allewellyn@dorlandhealth.com